Dealing with Shame

$5.00

The Dealing with Shame IQ Matrix explores how to better understand and overcome the emotionally crippling effects of shame. Shame, like anger, is often an emotion we experience that masks genuine and authentic feelings such as grief, loneliness, and sadness. We do this because we feel somewhat insecure about ourselves. Subsequently, shame becomes a coping mechanism for dealing with these emotions. Therefore, shame effectively becomes very much like a mask you wear that hides your true feelings. This, of course, isn’t healthy. In fact shame, unlike guilt, has a very negative effect on a person’s psyche. It is only when we learn to see shame for what it is can we then begin the healing process.

Who is this map for?

  • Anyone who feels insecure and ashamed about aspects of themselves or their life.
  • Anyone who has deep level fears of being judged, criticized, or rejected.
  • Anyone who struggles with perfectionism to the extent that it impacts their self-esteem.

“Unlike guilt, which is the feeling of doing something wrong; shame is the feeling of being something wrong.”  Marilyn J. Sorensen


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The Dealing with Shame IQ Matrix explores how to better understand and overcome the emotionally crippling effects of shame. Shame, like anger, is often an emotion we experience that masks genuine and authentic feelings such as grief, loneliness, and sadness. We do this because we feel somewhat insecure about ourselves. Subsequently, shame becomes a coping mechanism for dealing with these emotions. Therefore, shame effectively becomes very much like a mask you wear that hides your true feelings. This, of course, isn’t healthy. In fact shame, unlike guilt, has a very negative effect on a person’s psyche. It is only when we learn to see shame for what it is can we then begin the healing process.

Here is a quick breakdown of each branch of the Dealing with Shame mind map.

  • Is it Guilt or Shame?: The first branch of this map breaks down the difference between guilt and shame. When we feel guilty we feel as though we’ve something wrong. On the other hand, when we feel ashamed we feel that there is something wrong with us. It’s a small distinction, but one that makes a huge difference to our psyche.
  • Feeling Ashamed: The second branch explores various triggers that can cause you to suddenly feel ashamed. Moreover, the branch examines how shame is used as a mask to hide authentic feelings and emotions. It also highlights the compulsive and defensive behaviors that can result from allowing shame to take over our lives.
  • Shame-Based Thinking: To feel ashamed about something, we must think about that “something” in a very specific way. The third branch of this map explores how to recognize when you get caught up in shame-based thinking. Moreover, it provides you with a set of questions that will help you challenge those thoughts and choose more helpful thoughts.
  • Overcoming Shame Process: The final branch of the map walks you through a four-step process you can use to overcome shame. The process first involves recognizing your feelings, needs, and your shame triggers. It then challenges you to question your shame objectively. It’s important here to acknowledge what it is you want. Only then can you make needed perspective shifts that will help you to favorably view your circumstances. The final step of the process involves confiding in people you trust.

This map provides a roadmap and framework for dealing with shame. Referencing it regularly and committing it to memory will help you to embed these principles into your subconscious mind.

A mind map, of course, does this beautifully because it mirrors the synaptic connections made in your brain as you try to establish new habits of thought and behavior. It brings together key concepts and ideas that help your brain to fully integrate and process this information. The brain, subsequently, rewires itself as it attempts to establish new habits of mind. It’s an ideal tool for creating lasting change and transformation.

Progressively working through this map and integrating these concepts and ideas into your psyche will help you to develop various coping strategies for overcoming feelings of shame. No longer will you feel flawed or inadequate. You will, instead, feel more empowered as you begin letting go of unrealistic standards and ideals that have been blocking your authentic self from taking center stage.


When you purchase the Dealing with Shame IQ Matrix you will receive:

  • A PDF copy of the IQ Matrix, which you can use for printing in high resolution.
  • A JPG image file of the IQ Matrix, which is ideal for viewing on tablets and mobile devices.
  • A Desktop Background version of the map you can use for reference on your computer.
  • A MindManager file for those who wish to edit the content of the IQ Matrix.

Additional visual resources and variations of this IQ Matrix might be added to your account page at no extra cost in the future.

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